So far, we’ve explored the first two habits – seeking clarity and generating energy. Now we need to raise the necessity for your success. How to use your mind to make it more necessary for you to become successful. If you can get away without being extraordinary then you can tend to lean towards that, but if you need to be – you find a way.
Necessity is the emotional drive that makes great performance a must instead of a preference. It inspires a higher sense of motivation than usual because personal identity is engaged, creating a sense of urgency to act. When this emotional drive of necessity doesn’t exist, no tactic, tool, or strategy can help you. You cannot become extraordinary without a sense that it is absolutely necessary to excel.
Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason, mastery demands all of a person. - Albert Einstein
Brendon talks about four Forces of Necessity: 2 Internal Forces: Identity & Obsession, and 2 external forces: Duty & Urgency.
INTERNAL FORCES
Identity: We have a lot of internal forces shaping our behaviour: values; expectations; dreams; goals; the need for safety, belonging, congruence, and growth, to name but a few. Think of these internal forces as an internal guidance system that urges you to stay “who you are” and grow into your best self. They are forces that continually shape and reshape your identity and behaviours throughout your life. This means you need to link being good at something with your identify, Set high personal standards and have a commitment to excellence.
“The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavour.” Vince Lombardi
When we do what aligns with our future identity, then we don’t want to be out of alignment, and if being excellent is part of that, then we will do whatever is needed to be that – learn new skills, bringing energy, trying something new outside our comfort zone, changing our schedule. Having a mindset of Excellence – gets to the point where you don’t like when you’re not good at something. Expect more of yourself, set higher standards, challenge yourself. It is a choice.
Practical: Set Goals and monitor your progress: People who set goals (think back to the Clarity blog) and regularly self-monitor them are almost 2½ times more likely to attain their goals. Brendon’s research shows that because high performers care about excellence, they put more effort into their activities than others do. They also develop more accurate plans and feel more motivated to follow through on them. If you set a goal and don’t track your progress, you’re almost sure to fail.
Obsession: Go deep and allow obsession. Don’t be scared to be obsessed with something, to want to be world-class or to totally dork out. It’s ok to want to know that what you’re creating is great. Society has made obsession a bad word; an unhealthy emotion. Brendon’s says that right now the world is full of casual browsers, they never go deep, they skim the surface, never developing specific skillsets or passions - that’s why they are average. By nature, they are superficial at the depth at which they go into something.
Experts, leaders, legends allow the obsession. It doesn’t mean the obsession takes over all parts of their life and ruins their balance. It means they spend an abnormal amount of time studying, doing the work, digging deep, focussing on the art - whatever it is for them. Don’t let others judge you – their understanding is not required for your progress; their opinion is not relevant as to whether you succeed. If you want to go deep, do it, and don’t apologise for it.
EXTERNAL FORCES
Duty: Brendon’s research showed service to others as a key differentiator for all the high performers. They feel a sense of duty to move humanity forward. They identify with a purpose or “why” that is beyond their own needs and desires. That bigger picture drives them on from a sense of duty to the greater good, the enhancement of society, the wellbeing of those around them. Connect to that daily – there’s always people to serve – no matter how small the task.
Practical: Ask yourself – who needs me on my A game today? We do more for others than we do for ourselves. It someone needs you, you show up and get it done, if it’s just for you it’s easier to defer. Brendon asks himself this question every morning, and he is specific – who needs you and what do they need. Make it personal, make it proactive and it will naturally drive your best performance.
Urgency: Nothing motivates like a hard deadline.
“Without a sense of urgency, desire loses its value” - Jim Rohn
High performers are more focussed on doing what really matters when it matters. Having a deadline helps people focus on activity. Those deadlines need to be real – a fake deadline, you’ll know is fake. So the deadline has to be aligned to something real – to the impact on someone, to the next steps in the process, to the quality your identity requires as part of being good at something. Set a deadline and then connect it up to the duty to others and to your identity.
You need all four
To keep the fire going you need to add necessity to all four forces. We change and improve over time only when we must. When the internal and external forces on us are strong enough, we make it happen.
The last key to the necessity puzzle is to socialise your goals and journey. Shout from the rooftops what you want. It’s scary, but all high performers tell people what they are going to do – they make a public commitment. Once done, you don’t want to let them down (duty), you then have a personal stake in it succeeding, as if I don’t, you’ll be judged, you’ll be embarrassed, you’ll lose their trust (identity). This will attract the neighsayers of course, but it will also attract good things as people now know what to support you with.
Once you’ve shared it, there’s a psychological shift that happens, as you need to be congruent with what you’ve said you would do, and what you’re showing people you do. One of the deepest drivers of the human mind is congruence, and when you lose congruence, you don’t like it, there’s a guilt that comes in, so your mind will do just about anything to stick to it – that is the necessity that will spur you on…
I truly believe that if you can each create some necessity into what you are doing each and every day in your work, you can deliver beyond the neighsayers, beyond even your supporters, you can contribute what your organisation needs to be competitive in the modern age.
That is within oour gift – but we don’t always seem to be acting with that sense of necessity – it’s time to shout!!
"Everyday you have a choice, you can either choose to be average, or you can choose to become extraordinary." - Denise Burchard
Next we’ll be looking at HP6 #4: Increasing productivity. A really poignant one.
Until next time...
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